Let It Go
by ExplicitMoxViolence
Summary: The end of a relationship hurts, but there's nothing like losing your best friend.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** **Anything you recognise, including characters, belong to their respective owners.** **This is a work of fiction and does not represent reality, please treat it as such.**

 **Let It Go**

 **-x-**

 _From walking home and talking loads  
To seeing shows in evening clothes with you  
From nervous touch and getting drunk  
To staying up and waking up with you_

 _But now we're sleeping at the edge  
Holding something we don't need  
All this delusion in our heads  
Is gonna bring us to our knees_

 _So come on let it go  
Just let it be  
Why don't you be you  
And I'll be me_

Renee was sitting alone in catering; half-heartedly picking at the salad in front of her. She really didn't feel like eating right now. At least she was alone now rather than being interrogated by the blonde.

She loved Summer, she was such a good friend, but her constant attempts to distract Renee and cheer her up were exhausting. She just wanted to dedicate some time to feeling sorry for herself. She was consumed by sadness and there was no use in pretending otherwise. As a result, she'd mumbled something about wanting to be on her own for a while and headed off to satisfy the rumbling in her stomach.

That was another side-effect of recent events. She'd barely eaten. The anxiety and stress of it all had made her usual voracious appetite disappear. As she stared down at her salad, she knew this wasn't going to be a successful meal either. Forcing down a piece of tomato to make herself feel like she'd at least tried, she pushed the bowl away.

She was just sitting there, looking blankly at her script for the night when her heart sank. That low, gravelly voice permeated the room, hitting her right in the gut. She was barely functioning as it was, she really didn't need salt rubbed in her wounds like this.

Keeping her eyes down on the paper in front of her, she heard the sounds getting closer. He was clearly with Joe, no surprises there, and as their conversation became more audible, she tried to think of an escape route.

Their conversation suddenly died and an awkward silence filled the air. It was then that she realised she'd been spotted.

Her heart was beating so fast it was painful and the possibility of throwing up was real. Standing, she gathered up the schedule for the show and made a beeline for the exit. She couldn't even look at _him_ , keeping her eyes on the ground as she passed. She managed a very forced smile at Joe, but averted her eyes as soon as he returned it. This was too much, too soon.

Everyone had warned her about dating a co-worker. She knew that if things between them didn't work out, being his colleague and seeing him all the time would be difficult. But she never dreamed it would end this way. He was her best friend. She never imagined things between them would ever be this bad. She'd managed to avoid him through sheer luck so far, her schedule filming for the network had given her ample opportunity to steer clear, but that was short-lived and now here he was.

She'd hoped two weeks would be long enough for her to come to terms with it all, at least enough to co-exist with him – to see him and not want to throw up. But she was wrong. She wasn't ready for this. Feeling the lump in her throat getting bigger, she kept her head down as she made her way through the winding hallways.

She passed the crew setting up the ring, her high-heeled boots clacking against the floor. She didn't think anything of the heavy footsteps behind her until they sped up.

"Please no" she whispered under her breath, but she knew deep down that he'd follow her. He'd called her a few times this week and she'd ignored all of them, knowing that she wasn't in a good place to talk right now. He was persistent. He wouldn't want things to end just like that. But work was the last place she wanted to have this conversation so when he called out to her, she carried on walking.

"Renee..." he panted, breaking into a jog to catch up.

"Don't..." she asked, the steadiness of her voice surprising her as she kept up her pace, wishing she'd worn flat shoes.

"I just want to talk..." he reasoned, falling into step with her easily thanks to his long strides.

"Not now" she asserted, tugging the hem of her little black dress down to cover more of her thighs, suddenly hyper-aware of the way it slipped up as she walked.

He grabbed her wrist loosely in his hand but soon retracted his grip when she flinched, stopping in her tracks. "Please don't..." she asked.

He felt like she'd kicked him in the gut when she finally looked at him. Not only had she flinched at his touch, but she looked as though she was about to cry. He didn't want that. Not at work.

"Okay" he held his hands up in surrender. He just stared at her, while she stared at her feet. This was such a far cry from the easy-going nature of their relationship, full of laughter and fun. "Can we go grab something to eat after the show? I really want to talk to you..." he asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

She looked up at the ceiling, blinking back the moisture and nodded.

"I'll come grab you once I've showered" he whispered, giving her a regretful glance.

He watched her go, lamenting how beautiful she looked.

 **\- x -**

Joe watched Jon as he sat at the table staring off into the distance. He'd been chewing the same piece of steak for minutes now.

Joe put a hand on Jon's shoulder and rubbed it firmly. He knew his friend well enough now to know when he needed a bit of reassurance and for the past two weeks, Jon had been incredibly down. Joe had called him the day after Renee had left, not realising what had happened. One word out of Jon's mouth and Joe knew something was seriously wrong. It hadn't taken long to get it out of him and the sound of his friend all choked up with devastation, the end of a relationship which was so precious to him causing so much pain, broke Joe's heart. Joe wasn't used to seeing Jon this way, he was normally so laid back and positive, but it was obvious he was really hurting.

"Did you catch up with her?" he asked.

Jon nodded.

"How is she? She didn't look too great when she left"

"Not good" he replied simply.

"I'm sorry man..."

Jon shook his head. "I don't think us going out for food is a good idea. She was nearly in tears just now..." he mumbled, running a tired hand over his face.

"I can make myself scarce if you want to talk it out in our room" Joe offered. They'd been sharing a room since it happened. Joe gave Jon his space when he asked for it, but he wanted to stay close to his friend, making sure he talked about things instead of bottling it up.

"I'll see what she says. She might not want to come back to the room" he sighed.

"It'll get better Jon, I promise" Joe reassured after a moment of tense silence.

"I know...it's just shit right now"

Joe watched as Jon put his head in his hands.

"Use tonight to get it all out there. You'll feel better for it. Just remember that I'm here for you man, you don't have to pretend it doesn't hurt"

 **\- x -**

Renee sat with Summer, her foot bouncing anxiously as she waited for Jon to shower so they could leave.

"If you need an excuse to leave, text me and I'll call you okay?" Summer assured her. "I can come bail you out"

Renee shook her head. "Thanks for the offer, but I really think we need to do this" she admitted. "We haven't talked about anything since I packed my bag and left two weeks ago"

"Is all your stuff still at his place?" Summer asked sympathetically.

Renee nodded. "I've been living out of my suitcase. I can't go back there, it hurts too much"

"You don't think you can fix it?" Summer asked.

"Not after everything that's happened since" Renee whispered, taking a deep breath to keep the tears at bay.

"He doesn't deserve you Nae"

"Don't..." she protested. "Don't say that because it's not true and you know it. I don't want to speak badly of him because that's not how I feel. I still love him..."

Summer wrapped her arms around her friend in an emotional hug as Jon came around the corner.

"He's here babe, I'll see you in a few?" Summer asked.

Renee nodded, taking a deep breath and gathering herself before standing.

"Ready?" Jon asked as she pulled out the handle on her suitcase. She nodded, following him to the car.

The ride was awkward, something they'd never been. It just emphasised how much had changed.

"I didn't think this was a talk for a public place..." he broke the silence. "I thought we could order room service?"

"Okay" she agreed.

"We can go out if you wanted to though? I don't mind..."

"I don't care Jon...in all honesty, I really don't care. I'm not even hungry" Renee breathed out a sigh.

He turned his attention back to the road. She clearly wanted to be anywhere but here right now and that stung, to see her so uncomfortable in his presence when they were always anything but.

Renee folded her hands in her lap, trying not to fidget anxiously as they sped down the highway to the hotel. It was weird just being in such close proximity to him again, watching him drive like she had so many times on their travels around the states.

She always liked to observe him when he was driving. How a person handled a car told you a lot about them and Jon was as laid back and smooth behind the wheel as he was in general life, one hand on the wheel, the other bent at the elbow and resting on the sill of the window. His seat was pushed back, long legs stretched out as he sped up.

She felt her heart clench uncomfortably when 'Wonderwall' by Oasis started to play on the radio. He too stiffened and she watched with a heavy heart as he turned the volume down.

She wondered how exactly she was even going to sit in a room with him without crying. She didn't want to cry, she wanted him to see her strong and composed but she wasn't. She was hurt and the lump in her throat was only getting bigger and harder to ignore.

 **\- x –**

Upon reaching the hotel, she followed him into the elevator and stared at her feet as the silence engulfed them.

He cleared his throat, breaking it. "Here's a card for my room...I thought maybe you'd like to go drop your bags in your room or whatever..." he rubbed the back of his neck.

She took it from his outstretched hand, their fingers brushing and causing her heart to clench painfully.

Jon changed into some sweatpants and a loose shirt, sitting on the end of the bed, knees bouncing as he waited for her. This was the worst breakup of his life, not that he'd had that many serious relationships but still, it stung. He never expected to fall in love with the beautiful blonde but her smile was infectious and she made him happy in ways he never imagined. He cried the day she left. He couldn't remember the last time he cried before that.

He heard the 'click' of the door as she entered, now clad in some soft cropped pyjama bottoms and a camisole. She looked adorable.

The next thing he noticed was how much weight she'd lost. She was always slim and toned, but now he could see the angles of her hips and the way her ribs were visible through the material. The pyjamas he'd seen her wear a hundred times now tied to keep them from falling down.

With trepidation, she made her way over, putting his room card on the nightstand and taking a seat on the bed. She chose a spot at the other end of the bed, keeping distance between them. Crossing her legs, she finally looked up at him.

He knew he had to start. He was the one who brought her here.

"I just need you to know..." he got straight to the point. "...I didn't do anything at that bar..."

Hurt flashed across her eyes.

"It doesn't matter Jon, we broke up remember? You can do whatever you want with whoever you want" she whispered, speaking words she knew she didn't mean. Hearing rumours around the locker room of him out and about with another woman so soon after they broke up absolutely tore her heart to pieces. It crushed her.

"I don't care if it was after we broke up Nae, I need you to hear it from me. I wouldn't hurt you like that. I know there were photos or whatever but I didn't sleep with her. I wouldn't do that so soon after we ended things" he told her honestly. "She just talked to me for a bit. That's it. I'm not ready to be with anyone else. This has been hell enough; I don't want lies and gossip to make it worse"

"It couldn't feel much worse anyway" she swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry..." he apologised.

"What are you apologising for?" she asked.

"I don't know...everything"

"It wasn't your fault Jon...it just didn't work out"

"I miss you…" he admitted.

That did it. Looking up to the ceiling, Renee felt the first tear slip over her eyelid.

"I know you left because you had to...because we were fighting so much that it was making both our lives miserable...but I still wish you hadn't..." he told her.

Walking out of their apartment…his apartment…that was the hardest thing she'd ever done. She bawled her eyes out the entire taxi ride to the airport and the flight. She still cried every time she thought about it.

She wiped her eyes, looking up to see the sincerity in his eyes. "I miss you too Jon...you have no idea how many nights I lie in bed and wonder whether I did the wrong thing..."

"You did what you thought was right"

"I walked away because we were both unhappy but it didn't fix anything; I'm heartbroken Jon"

"I know the feeling…" he told her quietly.

"You're my best friend…" she whispered. "I don't know how to not talk to you every day…"

"It's hard not to call you…we used to speak a few times a day, every day" he agreed.

"I miss being able to call you when I need advice or just someone to talk to" she swallowed hard.

"You can still do that Nae…"

She scoffed. Silence fell between them before he spoke again, his words showing just how guilty he felt about those rumours.

"I really wouldn't disrespect you by sleeping with someone a week after you left…I know you say it doesn't matter but it does. I care what you think. I wouldn't do that. I never wanted to hurt you any more than I already did" he told her honestly.

"It's not your fault…" she sighed, feeling his fingers ghosting over the back of her hand as he reached out to take it. "We both failed at this relationship"

"So where do we go from here?" he asked.

"I don't know" she replied, getting choked up again. "I don't know how to exist without you in my life"

He took a chance, reaching over to wrap her up in his arms. "Me either…" he mumbled against her hair.

 **\- x –**

 **Sorry for the angst but this idea just popped into my head and I couldn't get rid of it! Let me know if you like it and want a part 2!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** **Anything you recognise, including characters, belong to their respective owners.** **This is a work of fiction and does not represent reality, please treat it as such.**

 **Let It Go**

 **-x-**

 _From throwing clothes across the floor  
To teeth and claws and slamming doors at you  
If this is all we're living for  
Why are we doing it, doing it, doing it anymore_

 _I used to recognize myself  
It's funny how reflections change  
When we're becoming something else  
I think it's time to walk away_

 _So come on let it go  
Just let it be  
Why don't you be you  
And I'll be me_

Leaving Jon's hotel room that night, Renee still didn't feel like anything had really been resolved. After their little heart to heart, they'd shared a sweet embrace but she couldn't let herself relax in his arms. They weren't hers any more.

It was nice to know he missed her too; sometimes it felt like he was coping much better than she was and now she knew he was hurting too. It was good to know that he didn't jump straight into bed with someone else too. She might have said it didn't matter, but it did. She'd cried her eyes out when she saw the photo of some girl with her hands all over him.

As she lay in her cold hotel bed all alone, she couldn't help but feel empty. Building a wall of pillows behind her, she snuggled against them trying to replicate the warmth of someone to cuddle. She recalled the way she used to drape herself over his chest when they had just one night together, or tuck herself under his arm when she was cold…without his strong body beside her she just felt empty.

She couldn't sleep. Her mind was too active after their emotional talk. She found herself thinking back to the night she walked out of his life…

 _They'd been fighting a lot over the past few weeks. It had always started over stupid little things, like Jon forgetting to book their flights or not paying attention when she was talking to him. But it had started to build to a point where they weren't communicating well. They'd started talking less and less to avoid an argument._

 _Tonight, she had just arrived back at their shared Vegas apartment after a short trip filming for the network all day. That in addition to the long flight had left her exhausted as she dragged her suitcase up the stairs to their front door._

 _Opening the door and bustling through the main room, she found him reading on the couch._

" _Hey" he greeted, looking up from his book._

 _She gave him a tired smile, leaning over the back of the couch to peck him on the lips quickly._

" _Do you have the address for the restaurant?" she asked him as she tossed her laundry in the hamper and began to get changed._

" _Huh?" he asked with a frown._

" _The address for the restaurant tonight…" she clarified._

 _He looked confused and her heart dropped._

" _Jon…please tell me you didn't forget that we're going for dinner with my parents while they're in town…"_

 _He didn't say anything and she knew she was right, he had forgotten. She had let it go when he forgot the weekend they had booked off to spend in Paris even thought she'd had her heart set on a romantic getaway. She even let it go when he agreed to work on her birthday. But she made him promise this time and he still didn't care enough to remember…_

" _Renee…"_

" _This is the first time I've seen them since we moved in together…this is the first time they've sat down together for a meal in years…" she told him, unable to keep the hurt out of her tone._

" _I'm supposed to be flying out tonight for a signing…" he sighed, knowing an argument was coming._

" _You promised…" she whispered._

" _I know but I forgot…the bookers called and needed someone to replace Joe because he has family commitments"_

" _YOU have family commitments!" she shouted, losing her cool. "Just because I'm not your wife and we don't have a kid doesn't mean you don't have commitments to keep. My mom treats you like a son…you knew how important this was to me!"_

" _You can still go…" he argued._

" _I wanted YOU there! Because you're supposed to be my partner! But again I'm second best to whatever else comes up"_

" _Woah, that's not fair" he disagreed. "I forgot. It was a genuine mistake. But you can't seriously criticise me for working. You know what our schedule is like. Don't pretend I don't put you first because I do" he snapped._

" _Do you?" she asked, walking into the bedroom. "Because it doesn't feel like it" she added before slamming the door._

 _Eyes streaming with tears, she flopped down onto the bed. Tonight she would have to make an excuse for him…tell her parents he was ill or something. She wondered if he'd jumped at the chance to fly somewhere else just to get away from her. The fluttery feeling in her chest when she saw him was now replaced with stress and worry at the state of their relationship. The flirty laughter and jokes they used to share had become tension and silence._

 _He packed up a small bag for his flight and was out of the door without as much as a goodbye. She'd barely been home an hour. Everything she knew was crumbling around her and she was powerless to stop it._

 _He left. He didn't check to see if she was okay, he didn't apologise, he didn't even say goodbye…he just left._

 _After an hour of sobbing so hard her chest hurt, she made a decision. Packing a small suitcase and taking one last look back at their apartment, she picked up the photo on the night stand of them in happier times. Tracing a fingertip over the glass, looking down at her face creased into an enormous smile as Jon kissed her cheek, she let a single tear fall onto the photo. Placing it face down on the table, she walked out of his place and into the waiting taxi._

 _Fifteen minutes later, her mom opened up the hotel room door to find her daughter crying her eyes out in the hallway._

 **\- x -**

Jon had texted him to let him know Renee had left, so Joe made his way back to their hotel room. He'd been down at the bar having a drink with Cesaro, wanting to give Jon some time to hash things out with Renee.

Knocking on the door to be polite, he opened it and stepped inside. Jon was laid out on his bed and Joe could tell he was trying to act unaffected. His eyes were red though and despite knowing Jon might try to kill him, he approached the bed and gave his friend a big hug.

"Err Joe…what are you doing?" Jon asked, his arms pinned awkwardly to his sides.

"I…missed you…?"

They both burst into fits of laughter.

"Just kidding. I know you hate it but I have a daughter – hugs are the only way I know how to comfort loved ones"

"I hate to break it to you but I'm not your little girl man" Jon chuckled.

"Good 'cause I've got no desire to have tea parties with you" Joe joked.

"You know I'd just put vodka in the cups"

"You would" Joe agreed, patting Jon on the back. He was glad he'd lightened the mood, but he couldn't dance around the issue forever.

Silence fell between them and Joe stood, getting undressed for bed.

"How did it go?" he asked, deciding to just cut to the chase.

Jon shrugged.

"That bad?"

When Jon still elected to remain silent, Joe tried to probe a bit more.

"Did you talk things through?"

"I guess" Jon sighed before giving Joe a run-down of their conversation.

"It sounds like you got it all out there though…" Joe offered.

"Yeah but it didn't resolve anything. We still love each other. There's no anger there…we were just fighting too much"

"I guess in a way it's harder that you don't hate each other huh?" Joe mused.

"It would be easier if we just fell out of love and went our separate ways but that's not how life works" Jon threw his head back, closing his eyes.

Joe put a hand on Jon's neck, kneading the flesh firmly. "Do you want me to be here for you to listen, or do you want me to give you some advice? Because I will…I just don't want to cross any lines…"

"Dude…you're my family. I can't promise I'll take your advice but that doesn't mean I don't want to hear it"

Joe smiled.

"Well, I might not have known you all your life, but I do know that she made you happier than I've ever seen you. Colby would back me up on this. The second you started dating her you always had this great big grin on your face all the time. She brought out the best in you. I've never seen you so content. When I first met you, I never thought I'd see you settle down. She's a great girl. I think you guys need to fight for this. I'd hate to see you throw away such a special relationship. You still love her right?"

"With all my heart" Jon replied.

"Then you can work it out as long as you both want it. All couples fight Jon. I know you said it was constant but a good long talk about what went wrong could fix that. You'd be weird if you didn't fight. Sometimes us guys get a bit complacent and forget to appreciate the women in our lives…"

Jon nodded, his friend's words really hitting home. "You know me too well" he laughed, lightening up the atmosphere.

"You'd have to be blind not to see how much you care about her. I'm not going to lie to you man, I've been really worried about you. You've been so down…"

Jon looked down at his lap. "It absolutely destroyed me you know? I left that night without saying anything and I felt bad…so when I had a break in the middle of the signing I tried calling her and she didn't pick up. I called the apartment and she wasn't there so I panicked and called her mom. Her mom picked up and I swear to God I've never felt so ashamed. The way she spoke to me with such disappointment in her tone just broke my heart. She was like a mother to me too you know? So to hear her so upset with me; that I'd hurt her daughter so much…fuck"

Joe could tell Jon was getting emotional and rubbed his neck again.

"It's alright…I get it…" he comforted.

"What do I do?" Jon asked in a rare moment of vulnerability.

"Do something romantic. Show her you're willing to take a risk for her. A grand gesture. Then you need to remind her why she fell in love with you in the first place. Once you guys are at ease again, then you can talk about what went wrong and how to stop it happening again" Joe told him, knocked off-guard when Jon pulled him into a bro-hug.

"Thank you" Jon whispered.

 **\- x -**

Unable to get off to sleep with all the turmoil going on with her emotions, Renee had only just managed to drift off when her phone rang.

"Hello?" she answered sleepily.

"Oh sweetie, did I wake you?"

"No, it's okay mom…" she replied, snuggling into the blankets with the phone pressed to her ear.

"I was just calling to check on you…"

Renee swallowed down the lump in her throat. "I'm fine…"

"…sweetheart…you don't have to put on a brave face all the time…"

At that, Renee started blubbering again.

"Did you and Jonathan talk last night?"

"Mm" she managed a small noise of affirmation.

"How did it go?"

"I don't know" she sniffled. "I just don't think we can fix it and that hurts me so much"

"I know baby" her mom replied understandingly.

"I love him so much mom…" she whispered, breaking down into floods of tears again.

"I know you do sweetie, I do too. That's why I was so disappointed in him"

"It wasn't just his fault…"

"Wipe those tears away baby, don't get yourself into a state. I didn't call to upset you, I'm sorry" she said, her voice calming her daughter. "Do you want me to come visit you on the road?"

Renee laughed, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "No mom, it's okay…I'll be okay" she told her, trying to convince herself more than anything.

"Okay…well you call me if you need anything, or even just to talk. Any time, night or day okay?"

"I will" Renee assured her.

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"I've gotta go mom, there's someone at the door"

"Okay, bye sweetie, love you"

"Bye mom, love you" Renee hung up, checking herself in the mirror.

She'd blatantly been crying but there wasn't much she could do to remedy that. Smoothing out her pyjamas, she opened the hotel room door.

"Delivery for Renee?" the delivery driver read from the card.

Renee's eyes were wide as she signed for the enormous bunch of flowers. Bringing them into the room, she placed them gently on the dresser and sat down, overwhelmed. Taking out the card, she read it.

 _Renee,_

 _I know a whole field of flowers couldn't make up for the past few weeks, but I love you. I know I don't always show it, but I appreciate everything you do for me. You're my best friend and my soul mate. I'm sorry for letting you slip through my fingers._

 _Jon x_

She let her fingertips trail across the velvet-soft petals of the various shades of pink and white roses; tears coming thick and fast.

It was then that her phone vibrated with a text. It was from her mom and it was a picture message.

 _Look what just arrived!_

 _Mom xox_

In the photo was a huge bouquet of white lillies and yellow roses, her mom's favourite flowers. And on the card was a visibly written ' _love from Jon'…_

 **\- x –**

 **Okay so this got longer than planned! There will be a third and final part coming soon don't worry!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** **Anything you recognise, including characters, belong to their respective owners.** **This is a work of fiction and does not represent reality, please treat it as such.**

 **Let It Go**

 _ **-x-**_

 _You came back to find I was gone  
And that place is empty,  
Like the hole that was left in me  
Like we were nothing at all  
It's not what you meant to me  
Thought we were meant to be_

 _I let it go and now I know  
A brand new life is down this road  
And when it's right, you always know  
So this time I won't let go_

 _There's only one thing left here to say_  
 _Love's never too late_

Late that night, Joe didn't complain when Jon kept him awake, tapping away on his phone as he tried to figure out how to use the internet function.

Joe was incredibly supportive. Jon was grateful for that.

He was more grateful when, with a big sigh, Joe grabbed his laptop and helped him out. Together, they managed to find a local florist that could deliver a bouquet as early as the next morning, and another in Canada that could get some flowers to her mom too.

"You know it would have saved you a wallet full of cash to deliver 'em yourself, at least to Renee…" Joe raised a brow in amusement as Jon fumbled around for his credit card.

Jon tried to explain that he wanted to give Renee some space to think about things, but Joe still couldn't understand.

"Alright man" Joe found his card and held it up. "I don't understand it. I don't think she wants space at all. I think she wants you to give her a reason to forget all the fighting and fall back into your arms. But I respect your decision. You know your relationship better than me. Just don't give her too much space or you'll find you let her go so long she doesn't come back…"

 **\- x -**

"He's such a lovely boy"

Renee hadn't stopped crying since she'd read that card, even now with her mom gushing down the phone about how beautiful her flowers were.

"I knew from that first day you brought him home to meet us that he was a sweetheart despite his cool exterior. He was trying so hard to impress us. He was terrified we might not like him. I could see how he adored you even back then"

Her mom's words were only making her cry harder. From the beautiful note he wrote, one sentence stood out. _I'm sorry for letting you slip through my fingers._ It sounded like he'd given up. If he'd accepted their relationship was really done for good, why was she clinging to hope things could be fixed?

"He still loves you Renee, can't you two work things out?"

"I don't know mom" Renee whispered. "I know those rumours weren't true but with all the stress of the last two weeks and then thinking he'd already been with another girl…it's hard for me to think things will ever be normal again"

"Don't worry about trying to run before you can walk. Thank him for the flowers and have another talk. See if you two can't work through it. I know you're hurting, but I don't want you both to regret not giving this another chance. Love is hard. You have to fight for it"

 **\- x -**

The next few days were busy. Work took over, leaving Renee little time to think about what to do with her disastrous love life.

As she sat on a lighting crate, chatting to Nattie and Tyson, fate finally brought them together.

She tried not to look obvious, glancing up quickly to see him approaching before dipping her head back down. He had his head down, his customary leather jacket hanging loosely on his body as he rolled his shoulders to whatever was playing through his headphones.

"Hey Jon! How are you?" Nattie called to him, making Renee shift uncomfortably.

Jon looked up and straight into Renee's eyes. He held her gaze as he took out his headphones and although she wanted to, she just couldn't look away.

Nattie quickly realised her mistake, momentarily forgetting that things were less than perfect between Renee and her former love. She exchanged brief pleasantries with Jon before making an apologetic excuse and leaving with her husband in tow.

"Hey" he finally greeted Renee, deep in thought.

"Hi" she returned, grasping the edge of the lighting case for comfort. Sat up there, she was eye to eye with him and it was almost uncomfortable with the elephant in the room.

"You okay?" he asked, berating himself for the stupid question immediately after it left his lips.

Renee chose not to answer it, knowing anything positive she said would be a lie.

"Thank you for the flowers…" she said quietly, looking up at him from underneath her eyelashes.

The corners of his lips lifted. "You're welcome. I know it's not much, but…yeah" he rubbed the back of his neck.

"My mom loved hers too. She was gushing on the phone for over an hour"

He smiled wider, dimples showing. He recalled all too well the way Renee's mom would talk their ears off at every opportunity. It didn't surprise him at all that she was on the phone for so long.

"Good" he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I hope she doesn't think too badly of me anymore…"

Renee shook her head sadly. "You know she adores you Jon"

"I don't deserve that"

Renee didn't respond, lost for words. When she found her voice again, it was to question him.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked coyly.

"You just did" he smiled, lifting the heavy cloud of tension somewhat.

She smiled despite herself.

"Sure you can darlin'" he pressed when she didn't elaborate.

"Why the flowers?"

He pondered that for a moment.

"Because I don't want to just let go of what we had…not without trying…" he rubbed the back of his neck. "I've never had someone like you in my life before and the thought of losing you forever…it's something I'll regret until I die"

She felt her heart flutter at that.

"You mean you don't want this to be the end?" she asked.

"Do you?" he asked, scared at the thought she might not want to try again.

She shook her head. "You know I love you Jon…I just lost some faith in us, that's all"

"I don't want to push you, if you want a clean break then we can try that" he said, sounding like he didn't mean that at all.

"I do want to try. I just don't want to lose you again"

She finally gave in and reached for him and he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her.

"You won't" he promised, mumbling into the soft hair on the top of her head.

 **\- x -**

Renee agreed to ride with Jon to the next city tonight, hoping it would give them a chance to really talk. She was nervous. Being in such a confined space for an extended period of time was about to force them to face all the unresolved emotions.

Loading her bag into the trunk of his rental, Renee settled herself into the passenger seat and tried not to dwell on how familiar this was. Singing at the top of her lungs with him made being on the road a joy. She didn't want to think about how much she missed her best friend because crying would only make this harder.

"Your mom texted me by the way" he chuckled, sinking into the driver's seat.

"Oh?" Renee asked, suddenly afraid of what her mom could have said.

"She warned me I better fix things because she wants grand kids soon and I'm the only boyfriend who's ever made you broody" he told her, a smirk on his face as he adjusted the rear view mirror.

"Oh my god" Renee buried her face in her hands, embarrassed.

"I thought it was cute" he laughed.

"I can't believe she said that…that so awkward" she shook her head.

"Don't be embarrassed by your feelings Renee. Not communicating our emotions is what got us here" he replied solemnly, pulling out of the arena parking lot.

It was silent for a moment, the lights of passing cars illuminating the interior of the car as one city faded into another.

"You think that's all it was…lack of communication?" she asked.

He nodded slowly.

"If I'd just come to you before I left and told you how I felt maybe you'd have been there when I got home…"

Renee swallowed hard. "How did you feel?"

"Torn between spending an evening with the woman I love and her family… _my family_ …and knowing that turning down work pushes me further off the radar to be _the_ top guy in the company. I know I'm laid back about my career, but I dreamed of this all my life. I fought so hard to get here. I almost gave up on it. But then it finally happened for me and I don't want to grow old thinking 'what if?' you know?"

Renee absorbed all of that. "Jon? Are they putting pressure on you?" she asked, realisation hitting her all of a sudden.

"Not really…I mean, at every meeting they keep telling me that I'm next in line you know? Keep grinding and working my ass off and they'll throw me a bone…"

Renee sighed. He was playing it down. Now it all made sense.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked. "If they were putting all this extra work on you and promising you things you should have said…I'd have understood Jon. I know how that is. I'm career-minded too..."

He just stared ahead at the road, unsure of how to respond. Eventually, he found some words.

"I figured you'd think I was just being selfish. I don't want you to think I consider work more important than you…it's just hard to balance a relationship with a job like this"

"I know" she whispered, reaching over to lace her fingers with his as his free hand rested on the gear stick.

"No relationship I've ever had has lasted. It's hard for me to turn down opportunities at work when you could walk away any moment" he admitted.

That hurt. But she understood. How could she not? She'd seen colleagues throw away incredible chances to further their careers for love and been burned.

"Thank you for opening up…I'm sorry I didn't understand"

"How could you have understood when I didn't tell you?" he sighed, bringing their joined hands up to his lips. Her skin tingled where he pressed a soft kiss to the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry for leaving" she whispered.

"I don't blame you"

"Please tell me what's going on before we get to that stage again?" she pleaded. "And I'll be honest with you too…sometimes, I want us to do normal couple things. I still want to go to Paris. But if you have commitments on my birthday, then we should plan for another time…" she suggested.

He nodded. "I'm sorry for making you feel like I didn't care"

"I'm sorry for not supporting you the way I should. I love you so much Jon. I want you to accomplish everything you ever dreamed of. You supported me with those auditions even when you knew it would mean we were apart a lot more. I'd do anything for you. You're the most important person in my life"

She felt him veer over to the right, pulling over on the side of the road. She was about to ask what the hell he was doing when he unbuckled her seat belt and tugged her over the centre console into his lap.

He kissed her like it was the last time he'd ever taste her lips, stealing her breath. Her head spun at the intensity as he poured everything he wanted to say into his actions. He kept one hand at the base of her spine, keeping her securely pressed to his body, the other hand tangled in her hair. It had been so long since she'd felt him like this, her senses immersed in his scent and the sensation of his body underneath her. She always craved him, but having been denied of his kiss and his touch for so long, it was amplified.

"…please" she breathed into his mouth, their lips never losing contact.

"Whatever you want…I'll give you whatever you want" he whispered a promise, holding her like she'd disappear if he let go.

"Just stay" she asked.

And so he held her, enjoying the intimate contact and the heat of her body on his.

They stayed there like that, reacquainting themselves with each other's bodies, and knowing that everything was going to be okay as long as they were together.

 **\- x –**

 **There you have it folks, the final part. Let me know if you liked it!**


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